Poker. It’s supposed to be a game. It’s supposed be be fun. So why can’t I just have fun at the tables? The last few weeks, I’ve seem my heatlhy bank roll plumit down to almost nil on two sites. I’ve played 4 tournaments/SnG’s in the last week. One tournament I just played stupid, the SnG, I didn’t pay attention to the information that was given to me and got bounced WAY out of the bubble. The headup match, I flopped a set, but unfortunately my opponent flopped a boat. The WPBT Event tonight, I just got lucky, to place 13th out of 61. The players in the WPBT are very skilled, I honestly don’t know why I play. That’s not true. There are a lot of cool people there. Anyway, that’s off the subject at hand.

I’m in a rut. I’m playing badly. Each time I start playing like a complete donkey, I tell myself, learn from the mistakes. I think I do, but the ghost of my past play sit’s down and starts to play for me. In my head, I’m this great poker player, laying traps, executing well timed bluffs and playing like I have the nuts. The only problem is, that’s in my head, not what is actually happening. I’m not reading the table. I’m not soaking up the free knowledge that is leaking away from the table. I’m playing, well.. bad.

I make the same mistakes over and over again. I’m not learning. Same pattern. my. whole. life. I always say, I will change, but in the end I never do. I tell myself I enjoy the math part of the game, it keeps my mind from going to mush. Did I attempt any sort of math at all in the last week of play? Nope. I’m doing everything wrong.

Will I take this garbage that I’m spewing out now in and learn from it? I’ll probably say I will and forget it all in the next week. Why bother.

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